Why worry. Let us explore & be happy

Why worry? Let Us Explore & have fun.

1. Are you anxious?

Are you anxious? Yes! So are all of us. We all are anxious about one or the other thing in life. Not only the kids, but even parents are also equally anxious about their careers, finances, and positions. That is quite natural. To understand the anxieties and worries, we circulated a Google form to a few students to understand what is going on in their minds. We received 178 responses from students studying in different schools from the following states:

a) Delhi

b) Punjab

c) Maharashtra

d) Odisha

e) Uttar Pradesh

f) Tamil Nadu

The students were from 9th to 12th standard. The following pie chart will tell you the ratio:

1.1. Do you have any doubts about the value of studies in your life?

The first question that we asked the students was “Do you have any doubts about the value of studies in your life?” The response of the students is summarised as follows:

If the students have doubts, the following options were given to the students:

  • Getting a good job is too difficult
  • The system is unfair and education has no relation to the success
  • Bookish knowledge does not help in life
  • There are easier and better ways to be successful
  • Any other reason

The replies of the students are summarised below:

The other responses of the students to the same question are as follows:

  • Need to improve the education system. I think we need to be more practical and I think old Indian education systems, like in Mahabharata and old one, are way better than our present as we know our education system was changed by Britishers and even now they are using practical knowledge more than theory. What they told us is old now and they have changed so we need to.
  • The practicality of bookish knowledge is not taught in schools. Moreover, practical things in general are also not taught.
  • The things we are taught are according to me not real education and are just facts, ideas, history, and things that people did. It does not have major importance in life and I will forget 70 percent of what I have learned in school.
  • The practicality of bookish knowledge is not taught in schools. Moreover, practical things in general are also not taught.

1.2. Do you have difficulty understanding what is being taught in the classroom?

The next question that was asked from the students was: “Do you have difficulty understanding what is being taught in the classroom?” The responses of the students are summarised as follows:

If the students have difficulties, they were given the following options:

  • The content of books is not interesting
  • There is a gap in understanding from the previous classes
  • Teachers do not teach it properly (method of teaching)
  • Teachers do not have sufficient understanding of the subject
  • Any other reason

The responses of the students are summarised in the following chart:

The other responses were as follows:

  • Teachers are great in my school, but the thing is bookish knowledge doesn't help in life.
  • I am suffering from social anxiety so she has become very introverted and a lot of concentration on mobile
  • The content of books is sometimes not interesting
  • Concentration problem
  • Too fast
  • School gives us a lot of homework and tests. I can't do both
  • Memorizing the topic later
  • Memorizing previous content to understand the content better
  • It is difficult for me to understand new topics. it takes a long time for me to understand a new topic.
  • I want individual coaching for physics and chemistry
  • Mind is not focused at one point

1.3. Do you find it difficult to concentrate in the classroom?

Students were asked the following question: Do you find it difficult to concentrate in the classroom? The replies of the students are summarised below:

Those having difficulties were asked the identify the reasons of difficulty from the following options:

  • I have so many problems at home and unable to take my mind away
  • I have anxiety about future
  • I am unable to take my mind off the social media
  • I am undergoing emotional turbulence
  • Any other reason

The responses of the students are summarised below:

We can see that anxiety about the future is a cause of worry for most of the students. The other reasons identified by the students for not being able to concentrate in the classroom are as follows:

  • The topic being taught isn’t being taught in an interesting way, which results to me not being concentrated in class
  • Students are discriminative about the standard of a person
  • Sleep
  • The chairs are uncomfortable. The teacher tells us to sit with our back straight but with those hard chairs, our back postures have bent. No offense, please
  • Sleep and friends
  • I have anxiety about the future and I am sometimes unable to take my mind away from social media and other stuff
  • Because my school is the worst
  • Concentration problem
  • Phone should be allowed in school
  • I get distracted easily
  • Studying is difficult and boring
  • The topic is not interesting that we study in class because we have to study what we become in the future.
  • Sometimes my mind distracted by other things
  • I find the classroom interesting because I like to study. Classes can be more experimental; teachers can be more creative though I realize the classroom at *** is much more interesting than my earlier schools in other cities.
  • It’s boring
  • My friends don’t let me concentrate in the class.
  • I am not able to concentrate for a long time
  • The students can be talkative sometimes.
  • Yes, the school teachers are only good towards some students
  • Yes, with the study we also must train our body (physical health) with sports. So, I request you to give us a minimum of four periods of sports in a week.
  • Sometimes distraction from other things
  • Teachers have to teach according to the mental level of each student

1.4 Do you have any confusion regarding future studies?

The next question asked from the students was: Do you have any confusion regarding future studies? The responses are summarised in the following chart:

The students who have confusion were given the following option to choose from:

  • Between two or more career options
  • What do my parents want and what I want
  • Uncertainty about my future with the career option I like
  • Choosing between friends and the career
  • Any other reason

The response of the students is summarised below:

Other confusions of the students are also summarised in the following table:

  • I do not want to limit my career option to one articulate stream. As much as I like PCM, I am already missing my languages. Choosing engineering or pure science will further limit it.
  • Choosing colleges, fee structure
  • Between two or more career options and Uncertainty about my future with the career option I like
  • Can't decide what to do.
  • What do I want to do? Do you take a shot in the dark or take a shot in which there is a 50% chance of missing?
  • I just feel it is very time-consuming to become a good doctor
  • I just do not know what I can do and what I want to do
  • I do not know what I can do and what I want to do
  • I cannot choose the appropriate career option for my life
  • Will I be able to do it?
  • I just don't know what I can do still have I two career options but can't think what to do.
  • Just many things I like and am confused about whether in the future my interests and the subjects I like will be beneficial for me or not likewise, financially wise, stability-wise, and much more.
  • Uncertainty about my future with the career option I like
  • Does a career in marketing give practicality?
  • Also, sometimes the career my friends are choosing
  • Also, the career chosen by my friends for themselves and the career chosen by me for myself

1.5. Would you like to know more about anything related to studies?

The next question that was asked from the students was: Would you like to know more about anything related to studies? The answers are summarised below:

The following options were given to the students:

  • Different career options: pros and cons
  • How to prepare for different careers
  • How to handle emotions
  • To understand more about the meaning of life
  • Any other thing

The responses of the students are summarised as follows:

Other responses of the students are summarised in the following table:

  • More practical knowledge, now like the POSDC IN BST, we need more practical knowledge, schools teach us to become a slave, no one tells you about being rich, and schools teach us about how to become an average person and die
  • Why are things the way they are?

1.6.         Please mention if you like to know about any other thing.

In response to the question, there were the following interesting responses from the students: 

  • In response to the question, there were the following interesting responses from the students:
  • I want to know the balance between work and relationships. Presently, I am struggling to strike a balance between my demanding study hours and my friends
  • How to balance school pressure along with extra-curricular activities as teachers are unwilling to understand the importance of both
  • What is the purpose of board exams conducted in classes 10 and 12?
  • I would like to know which career option would match best my personality
  • I found a very important part of our life and that is uncertainty. And it is the only thing one always escapes from but always finds in their life. Therefore, being liable for actions is a vital skill to learn about.
  • How to concentrate on one thing at one time?
  • I would like to know more about the career options after my 12th. I don't have much knowledge about the career options I can choose after my Graduation.
  • I don't have a clear view about my goal which often results in my confused decisions.
  • How to make money, how to develop my social skills, skills of discipline, gratitude, and how to increase my attention span, and also how to avoid distractions.
  • How to handle emotions
  • I want to know if the career I choose now only will be good for me in the future or not.
  • How can we stop procrastination?
  • Does jobs obtained after MBA in marketing provide high paid jobs?
  • More about the college options and the career choices in a particular stream.
  • How to handle emotions with the studies.

1.7. Any other points like to mention?

This was a general question asked of the students and the responses are summarised below:

  • Students shouldn't have to choose their streams in 11th grade. It is too early in life to decide what you want to spend your whole life doing :)
  • I wish the education system was a little more efficient and would actually help me teach how to lead a happy and secure life in the future
  • Students should learn about skillful subjects like astrology, psychology, spirituality, etc.
  • More suitable career options after Graduation
  • The school does not teach us the skill of discipline, gratitude, mindfulness, willpower, and how to make money
  • Literature is my passion.
  • Just a little insight or guidance will be beneficial for all the students who are blinded and confused utterly
  • Talking about skill learning is not available for everyone only certain students have been provided these opportunities.
  • I have emotional breakdowns very often and feel as if trapped in a rat race. In a day or two I feel like everything is falling apart.
  • Choosing a career is difficult and something difficult to handle in life too
  • I would like the education system to be more accepting of differences in how students present themselves, and to not judge or compare students by their grades and performance, also I feel like there is a sort of bias in teachers about students when it comes to responsibilities, volunteering and choosing students for any competition.
  • I am always diverted. Sometimes I watch movies, sometimes I spend time with my friends and family just can't able to focus on my studies.
  • In my career I want to do what I like ...it's not about money ...it's about my interest but my mind is not stable at any point so very difficult to decide.
  • School should also teach some other skills and techniques
  • I love playing sports
  • Another skill
  • Extra activities Increase other life skills and creativity
  • We have to get knowledge about our upcoming future.

1.8. Do you practice any mindfulness?

This was the last question. Around 40 students replied “No”. Around 20 students replied “Yes”. The rest of the responses are summarised as follows:

  • Not really. I often try to meditate and do some more about improving my mind and thoughts but end up doing something unproductive and lazy.
  • No. I want to learn mindfulness. So far, I am known as a lost case. In fact, I was known as a “lost encyclopedia “in my earlier school. I am totally unmindful of my surroundings most of the time.
  • Meditation- occasionally
  • I practice rifle shooting to ease my mind and focus on something other than school subjects and school in general
  • Gymming helps a lot to improve the focus of my mind..
  • No, I don’t get time to practice it
  • I do give me time to realize that neither it is a body nor a mind but a product of Big Bang that took place estimated 15 billion years ago. And yes, I am not different though I can act differently.
  • Yes, I do meditation daily for 15-20 min and chant 'OM' 3 times.
  • Like I do meditation daily and I think it is one of the most interesting and relaxing things anyone can do but you would need a good coach or guru for that it is not like yoga taking in a breath and exhaling it and just focusing on it is one of type but there a lot more to it. And if it is introduced in school then it should really be about meditation not just focusing on breath. There should be yoga Nidra, love meditation, and subconscious meditation, and ya at early stages they should tell how to breathe properly first.
  • Yes, meditation, etc.
  • Sometimes
  • Do here and there but not some huge practice that is worth remembering.
  • No, but interested, don't have time and am busy due to studies and other work
  • No. Any kind of meditation is extremely difficult for me.
  • Yes. I like to go step-wise-step about my career and studies. I have made a mind map regarding my career and what I want to do in the future, but rather than completely focusing on the final output, I focus more on the next step which is ahead of me and is a part of my journey.
  • sometimes
  • Yes, I do practice Meditation.
  • I do journaling and manifesting on a daily basis.
  • Yes, I meditate quite frequently.
  • Very rarely
  • Sometimes
  • I sometimes do meditation
  • Sometimes for concentration

2. Few observations from the results of the survey

There are few observations of the results of the survey. First, the majority of the students understand the value of education. Second, we all want improvements in the current system of education, the method of teaching, and the content of the school books, and want the teachers to be more focused on their specific needs. Third, we all are concerned about the future. What will happen in the future? What career options do I take? How do I get guidance about different career options? Fourth, at this age, we all undergo a lot of emotional turbulence. Kids are looking for solutions to these emotional problems, which they may not be comfortable discussing even with their parents and their friends may not know any solution to these problems. Fifth, there is a general awareness among the students about mindfulness and some are even practicing mindfulness. However, there appears a little lack of understanding of what mindfulness is and how to practice the same.

3. The crux of the problem

If we examine ourselves carefully, we will soon get to know the crux of the problem. The crux of the problem is the restlessness. We feel restless because of any one or more of the following three reasons:

  • We want certain pleasures or comforts and feel restless when we are deprived of them. For example, when we are unable to get comfortable chairs, we cannot concentrate in the classroom. When we are asked to do anything in the classroom that we do not like, we feel restless. When the teacher is not giving desired attention to us, we do not feel good.
  • We want to achieve something and become restless when we feel uncertain. We want to have good careers that make us rich and famous. We want to make a name for ourselves and our families. However, we listen to mixed stories from people about different careers. We get confused about whether we are making the right choices.
  • We want systems to operate in harmony. We want the systems to be perfect. Schools have the perfect infrastructure. Teachers to know not only the ins and outs of the subject but also to know the ground realities of the job market. We want the books to be designed perfectly.

Let’s try to understand the same with a few examples:

  • Restlessness to maintain Inertia: You get a weekend off and have plans to relax fully. Suddenly parents say that some relatives are coming and you will have to share the responsibility at home. You feel quite disturbed and restless with the news. In this situation, the reason for the restlessness is the mental story we have built around the idea of rest. We repeat mentally that we are tired which makes our mind feel a strong need for rest. When we feel that we are being deprived of the much-required rest, we feel restless. Just experiment. If there is an urgency like the medical problem of any of the family members, the same body becomes full of energy and is ready to work. The same thing happens when our parents’ transfer orders are due or change of school of anticipated.
  • Restlessness to achieve the target: You get an invitation to attend a party. Your friends discuss again and again about the party and the exceptional taste of a particular food that will be available at the party. You get tempted by that food. You start making mental images about that food item. When you go to the party, incidentally, that food item is not available. Despite there being so many other food items available, you do not feel happy.

Also, think of a situation where you have to go to play a match. Your friends tell you how well you play and how badly your team needs your performance. There are many rounds of such discussions. You mentally repeat these discussions many times. You go to play the match with a lot of expectations to play well. You lose focus on the game and get out.

Similarly, parents tell you to work hard to get selected in medicine or engineering, or civil services. Friends and society also confirm the greatness of the career and the quality of life you will have if you clear the exam. You mentally repeat this advice and imagine many times the life you will lead after clearing the exam. All this creates a strong mental desire to clear the exam. While appearing for the exam, you feel nervous and restless.

3. The restlessness of disharmony: For example, the parents asked you to organize a party. You organized it in a very harmonious manner. However, the guests do not follow the rules of the party which leads to chaos making you restless.

4. The devil behind the mask

Is there a devil behind the mask? Do these disconnected problems have one source? Isn’t it that we are looking for something desperately? Either we looking for a solution whereby we may continue with what we already have or we are looking for something that we feel will make us happy or we are seeking harmonious systems that will make life easy. There is a seeking in all these cases. We seek something when we lack something. The stronger the feeling of this lacking, the higher our restlessness.

5. Are we lacking?

You would have seen a baby crying for a toy. You may wonder that the baby has so many toys and yet he is crying for a particular toy. It is simply because the baby has got fixated on a particular toy. In the state of fixation, it is not able to look around at the other toys. That is probably the situation for all of us.

We, the human beings, are very complex characters. We have a very limited understanding of awareness of our being. Science of the day has proved the same. Science has discovered the complex processes taking place inside our body while we breathe or the heart beats or we think or fight bacteria and viruses. There are very complex processes going on inside us all the time. We are hardly aware of these processes.

Science has also discovered some of these complex processes which keep going in this universe in the form of the formation and destruction of stars, galaxies, and black holes. However, they are nowhere near understanding the realities of the universe. We still do know how this universe came into existence. How this universe is expanding and will it again shrink into a dot? Black holes, dark energies, dark matter, etc. all are still mysteries to us. We know quite little even about the planets in our solar system.

We know very little about even Earth. We do not know much about the depths of the oceans. You would have heard about the recent missions to investigate to Titanic ship which led to the death of all the passengers on the Titanic submersible. This is just to tell you how difficult it is still to unravel the mysteries deep inside the sea despite huge advancements of technology.

We know almost nothing about the sub-atomic world. The more we enquire into that world, the more mysterious it becomes. We started the exploration into the sub-atomic world with the discovery of sub-atomic particles like electrons, neutrons, and protons. We are still struggling with the basic question of whether the electron is a wave or a particle. We still do not know the nature of the fundamental forces. We know that gravity exists and pulls everything on the earth towards the center of the earth. However, we do not know the underlying force.

We also know very little about our brains. Neurologists are still struggling to peep into the mind. They do not know where lies the seat of “I”. What makes us feel the sense of I? They do not know where lies the memory. What happens after death? All these questions are still a mystery to the science of the day.

Against this backdrop, it appears that we are still unaware of a bigger part of our being. Scientists of the day, at least a few, are reluctantly accepting that there is an underlying “field” or “consciousness” that is the fundamental base of the universe. The research at CERN (Large Hardon Collider) has resulted in a landmark discovery that matters (fermions and bosons) take birth from the field and merge into the field.

Coming back to the pyramid, we seem to be quite unaware of consciousness, which is the foundation of our entire existence. We have very little awareness about our bodies. Mostly our awareness is restricted to the external parts of the body. We have quite a shaky understanding of our minds. We are quite aware of our family and community. Here too, our understanding of the family members and the community is by and large based on our imaginations, which may be quite different from reality. We are most of the time fixated on our physical possessions and the objects of desire.

Against this backdrop, we just need to examine whether we are lacking. Whether our restlessness is real or just a result of ignorance. Do we not remain ignorant of such a wide existence and restrict our awareness to few desires or outcomes and start becoming sad or worried or anxious or restless if there are challenging circumstances?

6. Do you mean to say that I become lazy and set no goals for my life?

Wait, wait. No, not at all. Life is a big boon. The human body is one of the greatest assets, anybody in this universe may possess. All the scientists of the day put together cannot even make a small part of the body and make it function the way it does. It must be used and not wasted. We just need to examine whether we are using it intelligently to realize its true potential or wasting it.

Is this restlessness or anxiety or worry anyway helping better utilization of the body and the mind? Is it not reducing our efficiency significantly? If that is so, do we not need to understand the reasons for the restlessness and work on the same so that this beautiful gift of nature may be put to the right use?

We just need to appreciate the joy of being able to run, while running to come first in the race.

We just need to appreciate our ability to communicate with each other while participating in a debate.

We just need to be happy about the thermostat of the body working well next time we feel bad due to the power cut.

We just need to be grateful for being able to remember so many things, while we forget some of the things we read while writing the exam.

We also need to remember that we have family or friends to take care of us when we fall ill.

We develop gratitude when we so the tough working conditions of so many around us who make our life comfortable.

7. How will I be motivated if my desire is not strong?

Probably this is the most common misconception about motivation. While strong desire motivates us to make efforts to get the desired goal, such motivation is generally not sustainable. While our motivation is driven by strong desires, we are mentally taking the following steps each day:

  • We are making mental stories each day to convince our minds about the value of the intended outcome in our life. For example, if the intended outcome is a career, we convince our minds each day that we will get a lot of money, name, fame, and power if we get into the desired career. Thus, we are continuously feeding our minds with the value of the rewards associated with the career. We are continuously increasing the greed of the mind for these rewards and fixating on these outcomes.
  • We are parallelly telling the mind that it needs to wait for enjoying these rewards till we clear the exam.

Since the brain is getting more and more fixated on the rewards forgetting the rest of the blessings it has, it will become more and more restless with time. Each failure will be a major setback in its endeavor to get the reward. The brain may rebel many times and may fall into the trap of instant gratification. Moreover, since we have made it forget the value of its blessings, it has become very restless, and, in that state, there is every chance that the moment we encounter failure, it will become depressed and restless. Even before each exam, it will become anxious and the chances of doing well in the exam will also reduce accordingly.

As we can see from the above chart, the strength of the desire in our mind increases continuously with mental conditioning. We keep deferring the gratification. However, there is a threshold of deferment and when the deferment crosses that threshold, we start getting distracted from our studies and move toward other things in life and end up spoiling our career.

8. What is the alternative?

If we just examine the life of any person who has done well in any aspect of life, be it sports or science or bureaucracy or management or arts, we will find that the people who have done well are the ones who loved their subject. Once we love any subject or for that matter anything in life, we just want to explore it. We do not defer the fun or enjoyment. It is there right in the moment. Our love for anything or anybody is not based on seeking. If we love a subject or a person for seeking anything, that is just begging.

When we love a subject, we want to know the ins and outs of the subject. Each time we study the subject, we feel thrilled and excited. We have fun and many times feel the state of flow.

9. I do not love any subject. What do I do?

We can develop a love for any subject or any activity if we try to connect to its core. The problem is that we do not try to connect to the core and our connection remains shallow. If somebody wants to know you, he will have to spend time with you. Observe you at different times and in different moods. He will have to accept you as you are.

The same is with any subject. To love a subject, you will have to spend time with the subject. Examine the subject with all its nuances. Slowly, you will start falling in love with the subject. Soon it will start revealing its secrets to you and soon you will enjoy the flow wherein you forget the sense of time.

There are a few little steps one may take to move from the “motivation driven by delayed gratification” to “exploration with love”:

9.1. Expanding our horizon

Our logic is generally based on very limited awareness. There is no problem with the limitations of the awareness. The problem is when we start considering this limited to be absolute. We become so sure of the completeness of our awareness and understanding. It's like a second-standard student believing that he knows everything about quantum physics. That brings complacency and prohibits us from making efforts to be aware of things we do not know.

Logic may be a very good tool to explore. We may understand the deep secrets of nature with logic. Logic should be pure and unbiased. That requires telling ourselves continuously that we may be wrong. With this mindset, we get the motivation to learn about new things. We get to know the limitations of our perspective and continuously make efforts to widen the same.

9.2. Emotional Intelligence

Emotions are a necessary evil. They have the functional utility of protecting us from dangers. However, in the present-day world, they tend to often raise false alarms. To the extent that they eat away the majority of our time and energy.

Emotional intelligence is about being aware of these emotions and setting them right with this awareness. We must know how to use the emotions to our advantage. Emotions should not drive our life.

9.3. Working on the unconscious mind

A greater part of our self is unconscious. In our day-to-day life, we are hardly aware of the unconscious. However, this unconscious drives almost all our decisions from the backdoor. It keeps creating different fears and ambitions in disguise. Like Ravana coming in the disguise of a saint to kidnap Sita.

Through meditation, we try to enter the world of the unconscious by concentrating on different parts of our body to observe the sensations in these parts. These sensations are experienced by us unconsciously. The unconscious mind keeps enjoying the pleasant sensations and averting the unconscious sensations. The enjoyment or aversion to these sensations keeps giving feedback to our mind to crave more pleasant sensations and be averse to unpleasant sensations.

These devils come in disguise and therefore are very difficult to fight with. We need to make the concentration aware of its strength like Jamvanta making Hanumana aware of this real strength. The moment concentration recalls its strength, it can cross the ocean of emotions and enter Lanka, the world of sensations. It can bring the awareness back from Lanka but that will not serve the purpose. We slowly build a bridge with faith to reach Lanka and replace Ravana with Vibhishana.

In the above cycle, we need to observe with equanimity while the body sensations are giving feedback to the brain to break the cycle to regain freedom.

9.4. Daily activities

We may explore the real nature of the self by practicing awareness in our day-to-day life. Our daily life is like a laboratory where we practice all the theories. While living daily life, we get moments of anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, fear, worry, enthusiasm, excitement, wonder and so many other emotions.

Emotions are the measuring yardstick of our level of awareness. The shallower our awareness of self, the easier we get agitated and excited. The deeper the awareness of self, the lesser we experience these emotions. More than the number of occasions when we experience these emotions, what matters is the intensity of the emotions.

9.5. Meditation

Meditation is taking some time away from the daily routine to dive deeper to gain awareness of the self. While carrying out our daily activities, most of the time we keep reacting. Strong identifications with the body and the mind do not leave us so easily. Due to these identifications, we keep reacting.

While sitting in meditation, we get some time off. Since there is no immediate threat to the body or the mind, we get some time to dive deep into our real nature. However, if we are too obsessed with the limited awareness of the self, even with closed eyes, we will continue with those fixations and will end up wasting all our time thinking and worrying or making plans.

We can explore deep depths of the self in meditation only when we live a divine life. If daily life is full of greed or hatred, the reasons will be flawed, emotions will be quite steep and the demons of the unconscious mind will keep attacking regularly. Our daily life will be full of emotional reactions and disturbances. In that state, it may not be possible for one to even sit silently for a small period, leaving apart meditation. Even if the person sits silently for some time, the mind will be full of thoughts. In such a state, there is no meditation.

That's why all these five ways are interconnected and mutually complement each other. As our logics gain awareness of the wider self, they help us surrender and gain awareness of the unconscious world and to live a life free of conflicts that lead us to a natural state of meditation. Emotional intelligence helps our logic to grow purer and helps us build the bridge to take us to the Lanka of demons where we can replace the internal Ravana with Vibhisana which helps us to live day-to-day life with awareness and get the opportunities to dive deep while sitting in meditation. Working on the unconscious mind helps bring purity to logic and also helps us surrender as we become free of the internal Ravana. It also makes our being aware of daily life and being aware of the deeper secrets of our existence. Living daily life with the awareness of the real self protects us from mirroring the impurities of the world and connects the rational, emotional, and unconscious mind to the divine. Through meditation, we gain insights to purify our reason, emotions, and unconscious mind.

10. From lacking to love: how does it happen?

A question may naturally arise why and how these five steps, as discussed in para 9 will help me love the subject rather than being guided by fear. The answer is very simple. As we discussed earlier, we are fixated on very few things, we are aware of. Most of these things comprise physical possessions, family, friends, and ideas. As we take the five steps, as discussed in para 9, we gain awareness of the rest of the world. As a child grows, the fixation with a toy goes away automatically. Similarly, as our awareness broadens, fixation automatically goes away and so does fear.

As we can see from the pyramids above, the awareness spreads to our entire existence rather than being fixated on only a few aspects so far. Recently, several experiments have been carried out by scientists on meditators. As you can see from the image below, meditation helps us spread awareness equally throughout the brain.

Generally, entire awareness is captured by our emotional brain, as we can see from the image below. When our awareness is fixated on certain emotions such as anger, hate, greed, or anxiety, the emotional pathway takes over and we do not use the slower pathway. We do not use reasons in these situations. That is the reason when we calm down, we quickly realize that our reactions were not correct.

With the practice of mindfulness, we are in control of the awareness in real time. If not real-time, near to real-time. Even if, we start reacting to a situation, we realize mid-way where we are going wrong and correct our path. That helps us significantly in not wasting our time and energy in unnecessary reactions. It also allows us time to concentrate on meaningful work.

It is not so that we will not react in any situation, but our reactions will be wiser. With mindfulness, we are aware of greater parts of ourselves. With this awareness, our fixation on likes and dislikes reduces significantly. We regain the freedom to use the fast and slow pathways at our own will, whenever we practice mindfulness in our daily life.

The practice of mindfulness also helps us gain awareness of many parts of our brain that we were not aware of so far. Even if we are aware, we are not aware of their potential. Mindfulness helps us use the brain as an instrument. We become masters of our brains.

In the normal state of awareness, situations take control of us. Any of our friends may make us angry or frustrated or agitated. Any situation can make us anxious or worried. We get excited too soon and take stupid decisions to repent for the rest of our life. With mindfulness, we get control over our attention and focus.

Believe me, that is the biggest asset. I have met so many people while performing my duties and have hardly come across any individual who has reached the pinnacle of success in any field without having good control over his attention and focus.

11. How can I access further reading material?

The blog “Who am I” contains many more posts on the subject matter:

A summary of different posts on the blog is as follows:

Working on awareness

Rare to be Aware (Steps to Awareness)

This blog enquires why it is so rare to be aware. Our awareness has become so limited that we have lost awareness of our true nature. Due to this, fear has become the center of our life. This blog discusses different methods to get control over the awareness back to bring the center of our life from fear to faith.

Education

Real education

Real education will be incomplete until and unless we live life accordingly as a Yogi, fighting the battle like Arjuna under the guidance of Krishna, unaffected by the most difficult circumstances, with the aim as clear as the "eye of the fish”, free of all the falsities of perceived self, and most importantly living life as an agent of the divine ready to leave it the moment the Master so wishes.

Education

Fear to Faith: First Step in the Direction of real education

This blog discusses 7 simple steps for parents to impart real education to their kids.

Lessons for daily life from Mythology

Lessons for daily life from Mahabharata

This blog discusses lessons for all of us from the Indian classical scripture Mahabharata

Astrology

Practicing awareness with an understanding of Astrology

This blog discusses how Astrology can help us understand the deep mysteries of different forces of nature to live a life with mindfulness. It explains the nature of different planets

Understanding the nature of self

Who am "I"

This blog examines the real meaning of “I”. It also discusses different ways and means to explore “I”. It draws an analogy with the actor on the stage and tries to explore an alternative way of living.

Issues of day-to-day life

Conflicts: why we are short of energy?

This blog discusses the reasons for conflicts in our daily life and explores different ways and means whereby these conflicts may be minimized.

Issues of day-to-day life

Choice: Fear vs Hope

This blog discusses the cause of fear in our day-to-day life and why it plays such a central role in our life. This blog also discusses that fear or faith is always a choice available to the individual irrespective of the circumstances.

Issues of day-to-day life

Freedom from memories

We feel trapped in past experiences which keep guiding our lives. This blog discusses how awareness may save us from faulty memories which may be life-changing. It also discusses how memories suffer from biases, faulty correlations, and mental stories.

Working on awareness

Right Approach to Observation

This blog discusses that observation suffers from certain limitations such as limited exposure and we may get free from these limitations.

Issues of day-to-day life

Who dies with death?

This blog discusses the meaning of death which is one of our greatest fears.

Issues of day-to-day life

Individual freedom vs social approval

This blog discusses the struggle each one of us faces each day. Where and how much to compromise individual freedom to social approval. Do we listen to society or ourselves?

Working on awareness

The triple trap of ignorance

Even the most intelligent human beings on this earth are caught in this trap. This trap is a triple trap and operates at 3 different levels, namely:

  1. Selective perception
  2. Mental hallucination
  3. Low threshold of body sensations.

Working on awareness

Working on the body that keeps the score

This blog discusses the science and practice of Vipassana. Vipassana is a technique of meditation whereby we observe our body sensations with equanimity to overcome our fixations. It discusses the latest neurological developments related to the subject as well.

Issues of day-to-day life

Purpose of life

This blog discusses the purpose and meaning of life. It discusses how the process is more important than the outcome. It also discusses how we miss focus on the action at hand when we get fixated on outcomes.

Issues of day-to-day life

Living spiritually in a difficult world

This blog discusses the challenges faced by a person who lives with awareness in this world and discusses some ways out to face these challenges.

Working on awareness

Turning the monkey mind into a meditative mind

This blog discusses the monkey nature of the mind. The mind remains restless in this world like a monkey. This blog compares the consciousness of a king that comes out of the grip of the ministers to regain control over his kingdom.

Issues of day-to-day life

Why waste life with mental stories?

This blog discusses how our awareness is captivated by external noise such as advertisements, and social conditioning, and how we can regain our control over the awareness.

Understanding the nature of self

Vairagya: "strict no-no" or "fulcrum of life"

This blog examines some of the misconceptions associated with the term “Vairagya”. It tries to explore its real meaning and how it makes our life so beautiful.

Working on awareness

Role of a guru

This blog discusses the role of a guru in the process of awareness. It discusses that a guru need not necessarily be an individual. We may take guidance from so many things in and around us.

Issues of day-to-day life

Dancing to the tune of thoughts

This blog discusses how we keep dancing to the tune of our thoughts while many of the thoughts are nothing more than mental stories and how awareness can help bring the sanity of thoughts back.

Issues of day-to-day life

Key to happiness

This blog discusses how we fall into the trap of misery by getting habituated to accumulation and how this habit deprives us of true happiness.

Working on awareness

Meaning of exploration

This blog discusses the meaning of exploration. If we remain aware of each moment, we will not waste our life in this falsity and would be able to explore this world, with complete attention being present in the process itself, giving us a rich experience.

Issues of day-to-day life

Right and wrong

Rights and wrongs can not be taught by lessons on morality. These lessons bring only falsity and inauthenticity. Till the time one's awareness grows, any efforts to impose moral values are artificial and are bound to be resisted by the individual.

Issues of day-to-day life

Why fixations are so real?

This blog discusses different errors of perception that make the fixations appear so real. Due to this we get trapped in these fixations and remain dissatisfied all our lives.

Issues of day-to-day life

Why do we cry, all our life?

This blog discusses the nature of fears and insecurities. All fears and insecurities exist in the domain of body, mind, and matter. No solution is going to work permanently since all these domains are temporary, by their very nature.

Issues of day-to-day life

Thirsty sea running after a mirage

This blog discusses the nature of desire and why we keep running after them all our life. We feel hungry and dissatisfied, not because we don’t have the advertised products and services, but because we have lost awareness of what we have. What we have is far richer and more fulfilling than what we are running after.

Issues of day-to-day life

The greatest wonder

This blog discusses one of the greatest wonders of this world. All of us see the falsity of our ideas and opinions each day and yet we have such a strong fixation with our ideas and opinions. There are many occasions in our life when we realize that we were fixated and biased and yet we again become so certain about our ideas and opinions.

Issues of day-to-day life

Enemies of freedom

This blog discusses how different habit patterns of our emotional and rational minds take our freedom away. Since we are not aware, we keep making decisions based on the likes and dislikes of the emotional mind, biases of the rational mind, and the memories of pleasant or unpleasant sensations in the unconscious mind.

Working on awareness

Five Ss to live spiritually

This blog discusses the five Ss to be aware of. The following five Ss may help us re-centering our life to the true self:

1. Swadhyay

2. Shraddha

3. Samvedana

4. Swadharma

5. Samadhi

Astrology

Astro-spirituality: 9 planets and 9 forces of nature

This blog discusses the nature of the nine planets of astrology and how we can take help from Astrology. It also discusses how these planets manifest themselves in people who are disconnected from the divine and those who are connected with the divine taking help from the characters of Ramayana.

Issues of day-to-day life

Making sense of life or acting nonsense

This blog discusses the Sattvic, Rajasic, and Tamasik nature of human beings and how none of them signifies our true selves.

Issues of day-to-day life

The struggle of "Faith: a little star" against the "Fear: a blackhole"

This blog discusses the perpetual fight between faith and fear and how in our daily life, fear often acts like a black hole taking away all the faith we have.

Issues of day-to-day life

Adipurusha: a movie without the spirit

This blog is about the distortion and shallow understanding of mythology by some of the movie makers and how the present generation is getting misguided by these.

Issues of day-to-day life

Joy or stress: a choice of the drop of water

This blog discusses our journey by comparing it to the journey of a drop of water from the ocean to the clouds the mountains to the river and lakes and back to the ocean. It also discusses how the cause of stress is fixation.

Issues of day-to-day life

The jump of Hanuman to Lanka: the concentration reaching the unconscious

This blog tries to compare the jump of Hanumana to Lanka with the leap of faith we take in our daily life to live with awareness.

Issues of day-to-day life

Fighting the heat or waiting for the monsoon

This blog discusses the restlessness of getting the desired outcome and whether restlessness helps. It discusses working on solutions vs working on tolerance levels.

Issues of day-to-day life

Social interactions

This blog focuses on the need for social approval and the bullying by vocal and powerful individuals in society. It also tries to explain the concepts with the help of the Mahabharata.

Issues of day-to-day life

Emotions: driving force of our life

This blog discusses that emotions are the driving force of our life and their color can not change unless we re-center our lives around consciousness.

Issues of day-to-day life

Spiritual fission and fusion

This blog discusses the meaning of life, the concept of social service, and spiritual collaboration.

Working on awareness

The external solution, Internal reconciliation, or working with Swadharma

This blog discusses the concept of Swadharma as preached by Krishna in Bhagwad Geeta.

Issues of day-to-day life

Human emotions

This blog discusses the meaning of love. Love in the true sense is establishing a connection with the other person beyond the domain of the mind and matter. That can not happen unless the two realize the shallowness of these fixations with self. In that state when a bond is established, the foundation stone is oneness.

Mythology

Mindfulness: Observation with an empty mind

This blog discusses the real meaning of observation. It also discusses that observation needs an empty mind. A mind full of biases can not observe.

Issues of day-to-day life

The right connection in this world full of greed and self-obsession

This blog discusses that we all have a choice between Krishna and his army at each moment in our life. It discusses this help with the stories of Mahabharata.

Issues of day-to-day life

Frustration of disharmony

This blog discusses the frustration of the people struggling to set up systems in a world full of self-obsessed people. It discusses that these people have to strengthen their internal connection to fight the long battle.

Issues of day-to-day life

Uninterrupted broadband of the divine

The divine broadband is very strong. It is uninterrupted. We have just placed firewalls in our computers which hinder this connection from time to time. We just need to work on those firewalls.

Issues of day-to-day life

Doubts, beliefs, and realization

In this blog, the author shares the key takeaways from his journey so far. The path of spirituality is the path of self-discovery. These sects or organizations, at best, can only guide us on how to search for that truth. There is no uniform method to search for that truth.

Mythology

Compassion: a barometer of the internal atmospheric pressure

The moment Arjuna sets up the connection internally; he does not need any external stimuli to be satisfied in life. With this connection, comes compassion automatically. He carried out all the worldly roles with compassion and without any frustration.

Issues of day-to-day life

Is compassion a one-way traffic?

This blog discusses whether compassion is one-way traffic and is it one-sided responsibility. To what extent should a person bear the unreasonably?

Working on awareness

Choiceless observation for freedom from the fixations

This blog discusses the nature of observation. It has to be choiceless. Just as a witness to be effective.

Issues of day-to-day life

Compassion with a mosquito and monster

This blog discusses that compassion is a possibility in all situations. Compassion is the connection between the consciousness operating in two individuals and not between the two bodies or minds.

Issues of day-to-day life

Dealing with difficult people

As that connection grows stronger, our perspective changes quite significantly. We stop giving premium to the shade of the character we play or the length of the play or the storyline of the play. What becomes important while playing any character on the stage of life is how well we played the character and while playing the character, what was the strength of our connection with the director.

Issues of day-to-day life

Exploring the meaning of "I"

This blog discusses choices we all have. We may continue with our beliefs about the self which are largely based on ignorance of reality or we may make active efforts to explore reality.

Working on awareness

Ways to Explore the Nature of the real self

This blog discusses about different ways to explore the real nature of the self.

Issues of day-to-day life

Attention vs reaction

This blog discusses that we keep reacting in our day-to-day life and also the fact that the more we are attentive, the less will be the reactions.

12. Can you suggest some books?

Several books may be quite helpful in the process. I am just mentioning a few which I have read and found to be useful and kids friendly. Reading these books will not only help to widen the perspective but also to live with awareness:

This book helps us identify the gaps in our thinking. It discusses different experiments carried out by psychologists to get an understanding of the hidden secrets of the brain. It helps us gain clarity about our decision-making process.

Expanding our horizon

This book helps us understand why we struggle to focus on our studies. It helps us understand the impact of digital devices on our attention. It also helps us understand the impacts of muti-tasking on our attention and effectiveness.

Expanding our horizon

This is a wonderful book written by a journalist. This book contains details of different experiments carried out in the field of consciousness starting from the secret life of plants to the world of quantum physics to the world of placebos and homeopathic medicines to the world of intentions.

Expanding our horizon

The author had a brain stroke whereby her left brain stopped working. She is a neurologist by profession. She has described her experiences beautifully in the book which helps u understand our fixations to the self.

Expanding our horizon

This book explains the concept of mirror neurons. Written by an Indian-origin neurologist, this book explores the world of “self”. How the concept of “self” works within the brain.

Emotional Intelligence

This book explains how emotions rule us. It helps us understand how they rule us and how, using intelligence, may regain control over our emotions.

Emotional Intelligence

This book is written by a Nobel laureate. This book tells us the fine balance between rational and emotional balance. It tells us the functional necessity of both brains and how, with awareness, we can use both brains to achieve the task at hand.

Working on the unconscious mind

This book helps us understand the power of our unconscious mind and suggests some ways and means to work on the unconscious mind to unravel its power.

Working on the unconscious mind

This book gives a brief outline of what Vipassana is. It gives a brief on the teachings of Shri S. N. Goenka ji during Vipassana camps and how the technique works.

Daily life

This is a wonderful commentary on Bhagwad Geeta written by Paramhansa Yogananda Ji. He explains Mahabharata as if this is the battle going on inside our brains. All the characters of Mahabharata are inside us. This is very useful as a guide to daily living.

Daily life

This is Mahabharata written by Narendra Kohli with Krishna as a human being. It’s a wonderful narration of different characters, their psyche, their fears, and their insecurities.

Meditation

Letters on Yoga is a compilation of the letters of Sri Aurobindo on yoga in a very simple language and guide us step by step on almost all the issues faced by any person practicing mindfulness.

Meditation

Commentaries on living are wonderful treasures. These are very short essays on different aspects of our daily lives. The author examines everyday emotions in great detail. These are very helpful to understand the self.

For feedback, you may write at:

vipulagarwalca@gmail.com

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