Practicing mindfulness

 

1.             What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is simply living life with awareness i.e. being mindful or aware in each moment. One cannot be mindful if the mind is already full. If the mind is full of fear, anxiety, worry, greed, or desires, there is no space left in the mind to be aware.

We experience mindlessness each day. While talking to a friend, sometimes, we are worried about the exams and we remain unaware of what our friend said. If he tells us later referring to the discussion we had some time back, we are hardly able to recall the same. Similarly, sometimes, while traveling, we are so lost in thoughts that we hardly remember the scenes on the roadsides.

 

2.             What are the benefits of mindfulness?

 

Mindfulness brings attention to the present moment. That helps us in the following two aspects:

•       It brings efficiency. Since we are attentive in the present moment, we can take more efficient and better-informed decisions that prove to be more effective.
•        It makes life more fulfilling by improving the quality of experiences. Since we are more attentive in the present moment, the inputs received from the senses are better registered in the brain. Such HD reception of the inputs improves the quality of the experience of that moment.

3.             How can we be mindful?

 Mindfulness or awareness in the present moment demands complete freedom. We can focus our attention on the present moment only when it is free from fixations. Our attention will always be captivated by fear and worry unless we develop immunity from them. This immunity is brought by a well-understood purpose of life.

Though, we all know what is immunity, let us re-capitulate:

 

Our immunity system protects us against different diseases. As soon as there is any attack by any bacteria, virus, or fungi, the immunity system becomes active, and even without us being aware of the same, it starts fighting against the infection.

 

 Similarly, a well-understood meaning of life helps us against all the turbulence in life.

 

 As we remain unaffected and undisturbed by the circumstances, we become more attentive and mindful in the present moment.

4.             Are you joking? How can the meaning of life be compared with immunity?

 Understanding the meaning of life is possible only when we connect to our real selves. Without this inner connection, our identification with the body grows very strong. We become as vulnerable as the body. Fear becomes the fulcrum of our life. It fills our life with worries, anxieties, hate, jealousy, and hatred.

 

Similarly, we also lose awareness of the meaning of life by getting fixated.

On the other hand, as we re-establish the inner connection, we realize our true nature. All the negative emotions disappear and we focus on the possibilities in the present moment.

5.             How the misplaced meaning of life affects mindfulness?

 We all set medium-term and short-term goals for our lives and stay motivated to get the desired outcomes. These medium-term and short-term goals are intricately connected to our understanding of the meaning of life.

At the top, we have a well-understood meaning of life. In the middle, mid-term goals such as completing graduation or getting a particular type of job or choosing a life partner or having kids, etc. At the bottom, we have short-term goals such as going for a tour, meeting the monthly target or clearing a test, etc.

If the framework of life is streamlined i.e., all three layers of the goals of life are working in harmony, we do not have conflicts in life and therefore the attention is not stuck in the past or future and we remain aware in the present moment.

6.             Can you give some examples of conflicts?

There may be two possibilities. First: the meaning of life is not well-understood. Second: the meaning of life is misplaced.

6.1.          The meaning of life is not well-understood

 This is the most common one. In the absence of clarity about the meaning of life, medium-term goals become directionless.

6.1.1.      Setting up unsustainable medium-term goals

Due to this lack of direction, sometimes we set the medium-term goals hurriedly under peer pressure.  For example, as a teenager, we are so worried and anxious about the future that we just flow with our peers. We choose whatever career option is suggested by our friends. We at times choose the life partner also hurriedly.

 

Since there is no well-understood meaning of life to connect the medium-term goals, they become unsustainable. Soon, we start cribbing about the same. We no longer find interest in the career and it becomes burdensome.

6.1.2.      Setting up mutually conflicting medium-term goals

 Sometimes, in the absence of the well-understood meaning of life, the medium-term goals become mutually conflicting like the conflicts among the middle-level managers in the absence of the top boss. This conflict takes our attention away from the present moment. Another example of this conflict is as follows:

Doing well in studies and keeping friends happy may be two mutually contradictory goals and this conflict may take the attention away from the present moment.

6.2.          The understanding of life is misplaced

Sometimes, due to ignorance, we see very limited aspects of life and presume the meaning of life with that limited understanding of life. In fact, Abraham Maslow, a psychologist beautifully explained the hierarchy of needs in the form of a pyramid.

As we can see from the pyramid, physiological needs such as needs for bread, home, and clothes are our most basic needs. If these needs are not fulfilled, we will not be able to move up in the hierarchy. However, once they are satisfied, their marginal utility reduces significantly. Once our stomach is full, even the tastiest food on this earth will appear tasteless. We cannot live in two houses at the same time. We cannot wear two different clothes at the same time.

Some of us presume the meaning of life to be the satisfaction of the physiological needs and safety thereof. Our attention is distracted by small disturbances and we become restless. In these moments, since there is no understanding of the meaning of life, we have nothing to look forward to and get easily distracted.

Sometimes, we presume the meaning of life to be relations and belonging. The emotional bond with the family members and the community drives life. The purpose of life becomes to seek social approval. We relate the meaning of life with the happiness of the family members and the people, we relate to.

However, most of them have their own understanding of the meaning of their life, which is generally quite different from ours. We make efforts to make them happy based on our understanding of life. However, they do not become happy since they understand life quite differently. The greater efforts we make and the more we feel disappointed. A disappointed mind cannot be mindful in the present moment because the attention is fixated on the disappointment.

Sometimes, we presume the meaning of life to become famous and powerful in society. The concept of power itself is misplaced. All these positions are there to serve the people. However, many people with a misplaced understanding of life tell lies to people. In the guise of service serve they pursue their selfish means. Soon they get exposed and thrown out of these positions.

 Even the pursuit of knowledge also meets a similar fate. As we move along the pursuit of knowledge, we realize the limitations of knowledge and since we have nothing else to look forward to, we become restless.

7.             Are we not supposed to set the goals?

If the immunity stops working, we can not keep a person alive on life-saving drugs for long. Similarly, if the meaning of life is not well-understood, we can not remain motivated for long. First, different life goals will conflict with each other and there would not be harmony. Second, as we saturate or meet difficult circumstances, we have nothing to look forward to.

Pursuing different life goals without understanding the meaning of life is like fighting viruses by washing hands, using a mask, taking anti-viral drugs, using protective shields, and getting intensive care without working on immunity. That is never going to work.

Ultimately, we must build immunity against the diseases. We can regain the freedom to move around freely only when we develop immunity.

 

This is the precise role of understanding the meaning of life. The understanding of the purpose of life gives direction to our life without much conscious effort. It helps us at each step to take decisions. We can make decisions that are in harmony and therefore become effective in different dimensions of life.

 

8.             How immunity is compromised?

 

As human beings, our awareness is mainly confined to the brain. Our brain comprises, the following 3 parts:

•         Emotional mind
•          Rational mind
•         Unconscious mind

The emotional mind is our defense system. It saves different threats to our existence in the form of fear and other emotions. We may have had an experience of falling from a height. We develop a fear of heights and this emotion is stored as one of the fears in the emotional mind. We might have experienced a bullying experience in our childhood and the emotional brain makes us nervous every time we face bullying to make us ready to run away from the situation. 

 

Based on experiences, it stores different memories in the form of different feelings such as beliefs, biases, fears, impulses, etc.

It becomes active as soon as it recalls these memories or receives any input that makes it recall these memories. It captures our attention immediately and makes us ready for a response. That is the reason why we become a little tense when we go meet a teacher, we do not like.

As soon as the emotional mind notices any threat to the body, it becomes active. Once it is active, we are unable to think rationally. On the other hand, the rational mind analyses. It analyses the sensory inputs in terms of right and wrong. It works slowly. The rational mind also develops this logic with the experiences of life. That is why our rights and wrongs vary so widely. While for some, taking non-vegetarian food is a crime, for others, it is just a routine.

While the unconscious mind is the hidden mind like the hidden iceberg in the sea. The emotional and rational mind is only the tip of the iceberg and deep down lies the vast unconscious mind that we are not aware of. However, the unconscious mind keeps affecting all our life decisions without us being aware of the same. The experiences that had a deep impact on us travel deep down to the unconscious mind.

All these parts of the brain carry out their respective functions to keep us safe. However, the problem is that we get fixated on these memories and misuse and abuse them. Our stress response triggers without there being sufficient reasons for the trigger. Our memories of fear trigger panic where there is no cause to be panicky. We apply biases while taking decisions when the biases are not contextually relevant.

 

It is just like being fixated on washing hands again and again. Being fixated on wearing the masks all the time. Or using excessive antibiotics with each infection. Or running to see the doctor each time we get even a very mild infection. It not only results in unnecessary panic which has a huge impact on our immunity. It also results in waste of a lot of time and makes our life inefficient.

9.             Understanding different types of fixations?

 These fixations are very complex. They form very weird connections. For example, someday our teacher scolded a student. He feels that it was his friend who passed on the secret information about him to the teacher. He becomes agitated with his friend. Then he watches another friend laughing with his friend. He becomes suspicious of that behavior. Slowly, he feels that the entire class is doing conspiracy against him. If this remains unresolved, there is every chance that such a person will doubt such conspiracies in all his relations, and also at the workplace.  

We form many correlations among different emotions.

We also keep going through the cycle of emotions.

Even at the level of the rational mind, we keep forming different biases on an almost daily basis:

We keep forming many more biases like this each day and live our life with these biases. There is no problem with the biases per se. They are certain generalizations that may be useful while taking quick decisions. The problem is that we forget the context in which the biases were formed and apply them out of the context. That gives us faulty results and makes our life decisions inefficient.

The same is the problem with the unconscious mind. It has a very useful role in our life. The deeper experiences are stored deep down in the unconscious mind to warn us as and when we encounter a similar problem again. They are again very useful survival mechanisms. The problem is that while forming these memories, we are not aware of the context and these warning signals keep disturbing us out of context without we being aware of the same, in the form of body sensations.

10.     How to regain immunity?

 We can regain immunity by just being aware of our true nature and re-establishing the lost connection. The moment, we re-establish that connection, we regain freedom. We gain control over the rational, emotional, and unconscious mind. Rather than our brain being our master, it becomes a good tool to explore the world. We learn to use it wisely to live life with a deep understanding of the meaning of life.

10.1.  Working with the emotional mind

 Working with the emotional mind is not easy. It’s not easy to break the cycle of emotions. If we are afraid or angry, we go to the memories of fear or anger repeatedly. Each time, it goes there, we will become more fearful or angry. That is the reason, it is almost impossible to start practicing mindfulness, in an extreme state of emotions.

Once the emotions subside, we need to take advantage of the situation and start the process. While our mind is comparatively calm, we must develop certain habits which shall be beneficial to us when we are caught in a state of anger or fear.

With this practice, we slowly start connecting to the true self and become a master of our emotions.

10.2.  Working with the rational mind

We keep forming different biases each day and keep mentally justifying the same. With the passage of time, we become more and more certain about these. In order to work on the biases, we need to be open to different possibilities. Reading different types of books, having the company of wise, having critics near us and listening to everybody with an open mind is quite helpful in the process of overcoming biases.

10.3.  Working with the unconscious mind

Since we are not at all aware of the unconscious mind, it is generally not possible to work on this. However, recent research in the field of neurology has suggested that the unconscious mind operates through body sensations. For example, when we are angry, our body temperature rises. If we maintain awareness of these body sensations with equanimity, we slowly start gaining control over the unconscious mind.

11.     How to live life

 Life with awareness is bliss. It is a very healthy life like the life of a person with good immunity. One has complete freedom to take decisions. The decisions are no longer driven by fear or biases or controlled by the conscious mind. That is why the decisions are efficient.

In such a state of awareness, we live life with remembrance of the divine connection in each moment and are not perturbed by difficult circumstances or people. Our understanding of the meaning of life, our middle-term and short-term goals, all are in alignment. That saves a lot of energy that generally go waste in resolving conflicts.

 

12.     Meditation

As we get over the fixations, we are perpetually in a state of meditation. However, meditation is still a good way to observe the fixations of our emotional, rational, and unconscious minds. While sitting in meditation, if we notice any fixations, we work on them. Slowly, we start becoming aware of a greater part of our being and regain the lost immunity and understanding of the meaning of life. Fears, anxieties, and anger disappear and give way to gratitude and compassion.

 

We slowly start understanding the laws of nature and the play of consciousness in the big universe. We understand the futility of all the forms and with this understanding of life, exploration becomes a key motivator in life. We do not require a favorable circumstances to explore life. In fact, the most intensive exploration happens in the worst of circumstances. With this, we become explorers in all aspects of life.