Exploring the meaning of "I"

The sense that we are the doers is quite deeply ingrained in our psyche. It is quite difficult for us to do the work and not take credit for the same. If the work is appreciated by people, we feel good and if it is criticized, we feel bad. 

Let's examine who is this "I" taking the credit for the work? Maybe it sounds like a stupid question. Let's bear the stupidity for some time. An obvious answer would be that I am so and so, living at so and so place and working at so and so organization, having a wife named so and so and kids named so and so and my parents are so and so. But if any or all of these change, do "I" change? Suppose there is a change of name or change of organization in which "I" work or death of any or all the family members, do "I" change or continue? The obvious answer is that "I" continue. I may be utterly sad with these events but "I" continue.

Sometimes, we identify with the thoughts such as beliefs. For example, "I" may believe that "I" am a Hindu or Muslim or Sikh or Christian or Jain or Buddhist. But do these beliefs really define us? Do we change with the changes in beliefs? definitely not. 

Sometimes we identify with the body and mind. First of all, how much are we aware of the body. Many people get heart attacks and detect cancer at an advanced stage. There is an entire universe inside our body and "I" is hardly aware of little iota of this. We take food many times a day and we are hardly aware as to what happens inside the body. We are hardly conscious of so much coordination going on inside the body. The heart ensures blood circulation to even the tiniest of cells. The baby gets developed inside the womb of the mother with the mother being completely unaware of the process. We hardly know what's going on inside the body and yet identify greatly with the body.

Similarly, we hardly know what is going on inside our mind and yet we identify with the brain to a great extent. There are more unconscious thoughts than the conscious. We do not know how we suddenly fall in the grip of the emotions. We start feeling anxious and worried. In these moments we feel completely in the grip of these emotions. 

Against this backdrop, coming back to the original question, who am "I". Probably there is no answer to this question. In fact, exploration of this question is more important. Each one of us will have a different answer. We may decide to live with the conviction that the earth is flat or make efforts to know the real shape of the earth. Prima facie earth appears to be flat. All our daily experiences confirm the same till we undertake a journey to outer space or some other person who has undertaken this journey shares his experience and we have faith in that person. In the absence of that faith, it may appear to be a falsity. Having faith in a fake person may make us believe in the wrong things. 

So, the choice is ours. We may continue with our beliefs about the self which are largely based on ignorance of reality or we may make active efforts to explore reality.